Clark Kent was pretty super too
by kali6
Summary: ... or "you don't have to be fae to save the day" Three times Kenzi saved fae ass (rated M for language)


**Notes**: Written for alyse's fandom stocking. Was supposed to be a five times fic, and may still end up that way if the muse strikes again.

**Disclaimer**: I have no claim or control of Lost Girl's characters/world. If I did, it would be all Kenzi, all the time (with Dyson cameos).

* * *

**Trick**

"What is going on? Where is the precious, precious mead going?"

Kenzi's voice was reaching levels a Banshee would be impressed by. Trick breathed in deeply and reminded himself that he was not going to let one tiny, if terrifying, human make his day any worse than it already was.

"They're taking it back to the brewery, Kenz," he said, using his most patient voice. It didn't work.

"They're WHAT?"

The human girl vaulted off her bar stool and grabbed Trick by the front of his vest. It was highly inappropriate, not to mention uncomfortable, but no one in the bar seemed to bat an eyelash. Clearly, he had been allowing Kenzi too much familiarity.

"There is some dispute over the supplier's asking price," he explained, carefully prying Kenzi's fingers from his clothing. "I had agreed to 400 orl, they now want 450 orl a cask plus delivery."

"That's ridiculous," Kenzi exclaimed, pulling her hands away so fast that Trick staggered. "Dyson, back me up here."

The warrior opened his mouth to add whatever opinion was lurking behind his wry smile but was cut off abruptly as Kenzi grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him to his feet.

"We'll take care of this," she announced. Trick watched in horror as the diminutive human stormed out of the bar. Dyson cast a worried look over his shoulder as he followed. He was right to be concerned, Trick thought, shaking his head. The clurichaun were jolly types, until their alcohol was threatened, at which point they turned violent. With luck, Dyson would keep Kenzi out of too much trouble.

Twenty minutes later, Trick turned from his telephone to see a cask of mead being wheeled to his cellar stairs. The fae wheeling the cart cast a nervous look at the bar – not at Trick, but at Kenzi. The human winked and blew a kiss to the nervous deliveryman.

"Mead, good barkeep!" Kenzi's face was glowing.

Trick pulled down two glasses and began to draw pints. "Do I want to ask what happened?" he asked Dyson.

"You could," the other man said gruffly, "but I don't think I understand it myself. There was some shouting, and then some foot-stamping, and then Kenzi invoked the wrath of some Russian witch that I've never heard of…"

"Kvenkya Milosa," Kenzi interrupted. "My great-uncle's cat. Nasty beast."

Dyson choked on his mead. Trick stared at Kenzi in horror.

"What?" she said. "Kevvie is one nasty-ass cat. Anyway, it worked. We gots the mead. Slainte!"

* * *

**Bo**

"Oh God, oh God!" The cries were coming from behind Bo's door. Kenzi was about to tiptoe back out of Casa KenBo when she heard the sound of glass smashing and "Oh Fuck!". That was not a happy 'Fuck,' which meant that what was happening in Bo's room was probably not a happy… Kenzi grinned at her own pun even as she felt around for the steel-reinforced baseball bat hidden by the door.

Kenzi shouldered the bat as she crept up to Bo's door. In a quick one-two-three, she turned the handle, pushed open the door, and stepped into the room with her bat at the ready. Then she dropped the bat.

"Bo-Bo!" she cried, flying to her friend's side. "What is it?"

The succubus was sitting against the wall, surrounded by the shattered remains of something shiny.

"It's…" Bo choked on a sob. "It's July 7th."

Kenzi nodded slowly. "'Tis true, Bo-Diddley. The seventh day of the seventh month." She grabbed a magazine and started scooping away the smashed… flower vase? "The annual fae festival of broken glassware?"

"No!"

Bo's tear-streaked face was pathetic, although her liner was holding up well, considering. Kenzi was impressed – every time she had a crying jag, she ended up looking like a chibi zebra. She needed to start investing in better make-up. Not the point, she reminded herself.

"It's Lauren's birthday," Bo sobbed. "And I forgot!"

"Oh, Bo-bee!" Kenzi dropped her magazine so she could take her friend's hands. "You've been so busy with the world-saving and stuff. I know Lauren will understand that it slipped your mind."

Bo's sigh sounded like her chi was being ripped out of her. "But she's taking the afternoon off… I promised to make everything perfect. And now it's all fucked up and she's going to hate me."

Kenzi scoffed. "As if. Lauren could never hate you. But if you promised her the perfect day, that's what we're gonna do." Her mind was already whirling with ideas. "Now you go run a hot bath and have a soak while I work a bit of my kind of magic."

Once she had Bo up to her neck in bubbles, Kenzi set to work. A little badgering, a little bribery, a little bad language, and it was done. She stormed into the bathroom.

"Right, up! Time for prettification." Handing a pile of clothes to a startled Bo, she hung a garment bag of the back of the door. "You've got a spa afternoon for two, followed by dinner reservations at Ohalo with a table by the dance floor, and a suite booked at W. There's your dress for tonight, here are your spa duds, and you have twenty five minutes until D-man drops off the lovely doctor. Let's get with the blow-drying!"

* * *

**Vex**

"Honey, I'm home! What the fae is wrong this time, Vex?" Kenzi shouted as she put her shoulder to the dark fae's door. Two hearty shoves and she was in the room. She immediately stepped back out and slammed the door closed.

"A little warning next time!" she begged. "Like, 'this 911-text involves mature subject matter and sexual situations. Rescuer discretion is advised.' Because I can never unsee what I just saw."

Kenzi cursed Vex's paternal lineage back five generations. There was nothing else for it. Bo-Bo owed the creepy goth-fae a debt and with the succubus out of town, debt-servicing duties fell into Kenzi's lap. Not literally, thank god, because ewww. Although this wasn't much better.

Pulling the door open again, Kenzi kept her eyes on the floor. Not just to avoid the brain-meltingly gross site she'd seen earlier, but also to avoid stepping in… "Great gibbering gherkins, man! Is that a pickle dildo?"

Vex's laugh was as letch as ever – apparently being trussed upside-down to a Catherine Wheel while dressed as a naughty, naughty school girl didn't dent his sense of humour. "Nadia is a big fan of do-it-yourself crafts. Demon with a glue gun, if you know what I mean…" his dirty snigger trailed off into a coughing fit.

Kenzi risked a glance at him, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on his face. Trick didn't stock enough 175-year-old single malt brain bleach to risk looking further north (south? She didn't know how the compass applied to bondage frames. Something to slip into conversation with Dyson tonight, just to watch him choke).

"What's with the 911, Vex?" she asked again. "Better be a little more important than an invite to a foursome. I cashed out of the weekly game at Mayer's for this, and I was up."

"Well, then you should be thanking me, little human. Your kind rarely do well when you play fae games."

"Enough with the fae-gly menacing banter, Vex." Kenzi was bored of his Bond-villain impression. It wasn't very good, or very believable coming from a man trussed up a like a chicken and dressed like a Sailor Scout. "Why'm I here? What can I do that you can't mind-control your sex kittens into doing?"

"Read Cyrillic lettering," Vex said. "Without a charming but potentially fatal lisp."

Kenzi snorted. "Forgot to put 'literacy' on your sex kitten preferences list on e-harmony?"

Vex rolled his eyes but started coughing again. When the fit passed, he gasped out "I had Nadia cast a spell to limit my powers for some kinky fun. Which worked fine, because no esses, but now I can't risk her reading the counter-spell or she'll free more than my powers."

"Oh yeah," Kenzi smirked. "Will the chains come off and drop you on your poorly-coiffed head?"

"No," Vex ground out. "She'll release my magic, my powers, and my life force. Possibly also all my bodily fluids."

"Eeewww!" The visual was in Kenzi's brain before she could stop it. Damn it. Trick better have restocked the old aqua vitae, cuz she was gonna need some tonight. "Fine." She sighed. "What do I do?"


End file.
